I’m not sure if it’s just me or whether it is common place to have experienced so many bizarre and awkward massages. In fact, I’m not sure if I have ever really had a ‘normal’ one. After we were married my husband and I booked in for a couples massage. It started off as expected – you know face down in your undies, towel covering your butt….. then all of a sudden the lady massaging me yanked my g string down and pulled my leg to the side and lifted it up. Oh my God, I was freaking out thinking that she could see everything my VJ had to offer. She then started vigorously rubbing my ass and getting right up in between my legs a little too close for comfort. Of course by now I was finding it difficult to relax and wanted to see whether my husband was experiencing the same thing. But oh no! When I looked to the side he was just having a perfectly, normal relaxing massage. Why wasn’t I? WTF was this lady doing? After what felt like being prepped for an internal check up and procedure, Miss Invasive asked me to roll over. She did not return my g string back to its rightful place and I struggled to roll onto my back. Before I could even get comfortable Miss Invasive started massaging my boobs and pushing her hands down my stomach, rubbing my legs from top -literally- to bottom and then back up again to my boobs. Finally, after what felt like an eternity and praying that the abuse was over – she started massaging my face. Yep, that’s right hands all over my face and putting her fingers in my ears and then rubbing my ear lobes. I was traumatised when she finally finished and longed for a drink to settle my nerves. I felt violated. Miss Invasive thanked me and then advised me that she had given me an ‘extra special’ massage. All I could think of and had to stop myself from saying was that ‘I wish you hadn’t!’. I asked her if she had ever had any weird people she had massaged – or whatever the fuck that was- and she said she had one man who was obese and gross ( her words ) and that he had accused of her of touching him inappropriately. ‘Oh please” she scoffed as if that would ever happen…… I felt for the man because I completely understood where he was coming from…..
